Giving Women a Voice: The Top 12 Secrets We’re Supposed to Keep

Giving Women a Voice- The Top 12 Secrets We're Supposed to Keep

So I’m about to break the rules. I’m about to reveal secrets that most women I know have, but keep it secret out of diplomacy, grace, sophistication, and everything else that goes along with being a classy and professional woman.

I’m breaking these rules as part of my homage to the #HEREIAM campaign. The campaign is centered around body image, but I want to make it broader; I want to give women a true voice and break down the oppressive rules which dictate that all women are supposed to be gentle, humble, and the worst of all – moderated.

Censorship on women has occurred for millennia, and while America has certainly come a long way since beer maids and choking corsets, there are still silent rules about what women are not supposed to say.  It can be defined as feminism, liberalism, whatever you want to call it, but titles are unimportant. The point is to recognize that we have a voice, and we don’t all fit into the boxed stigma of “supposed to be.”  As Helen Reddy once said, “I am woman. Hear me roar.”

  1. We don’t love wedding and baby showers. We love weddings and babies, but not having to go to these parties. Why? Because it just vilifies anyone who cannot afford an expensive gift by forcing the poor bride/mom-to-be to sit there and open gifts. Plus, the games are always super cheesy, and the parties are just generally boring.
  2. We are secretly hoping you cancel plans on Friday and/or Sunday night. By the time we finish working all week, running the kids around, and just taking care of life, we are exhausted on Friday night and just want to spend the night on the couch. And Sunday night, come on, that’s when Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead are on TV, plus we have to get up for work! Please just make plans for Saturdays.
  3. After the age of 30, the Instagram selfies need to be cut down to once a month or less. Seriously, girl, you are smart and sophisticated with so much more to offer than a selfie that highlights just enough of cleavage to make it “seem” like that wasn’t the intention.
  4. We think your adult children should not be on your holiday cards. The only people who really love these cards are grandparents, not anyone else. It’s awkward to hang up pictures of your adult kids on our fridge. Send us the babies and the dog!
  5. Sometimes we lie about “missing” your phone call. Truth is, we don’t want to shut off the TV, or step away from our computers, or stop playing the game on our phone. We can catch up over text message, and then meet for coffee. Long phone convos are reserved for when we can really concentrate, and that’s rare.
  6. We don’t always invite people over because our house is a mess and we’re embarrassed. Most of us are juggling so many different tasks that cleaning can often be put on the back-burner, and we really don’t want you to see how we don’t have it together.
  7. We think you should be spending more time eating your meal and exercising than posting it on social media. This is different if you’re running a fitness/food site, a truly unique meal, or if you just finished your first marathon. But please, save us the daily breakfast-lunch-dinner and “I walked for fifteen minutes and did 10 squats” posts.
  8. We actually prefer shopping alone. There’s some idea that women need to always have a partner when we go shopping, but we really rather spend our time looking at what we want for however long we want.
  9. Tagging along with #8, we generally relish our alone time. Yes, we love our family and friends, but we love the time we can spend lighting a candle, taking a bath, and cozying up to a book without anyone interrupting us.
  10. We secretly all love shoes because they are adorable no matter what size you are. There are no ridiculous body image rules about what kinds of shoes thin, fat, tall, short women should wear; we love them because they’re forgiving and unbiased.
  11. We don’t buy subscription boxes because we care about the latest trends, or what celebrities are doing; we buy them because we miss getting meaningful and traditional mail.
  12. Sometimes we are being humble just out of politeness. Sometimes we really know that we’re actually amazing.


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